15 Scary Pictures and 3 Beautiful Ones

The phone call… honey, I’ve been in a wreck. It’s bad. I’m bleeding. It’s my head and hands but I’m okay. The other person is okay. Gotta go. “

The next phone call… honey, I’m in an ambulance they are taking me to Hendersonville Hospital but I’m okay I’ll tell you more later.

 

That’s not a fun call to get.  Trent was on Vietnam vets bypass going in the flow of traffic (at least 50 mph according to him) when he looked down for just a second to adjust something that had slid around in the floorboard. When he looked up the car in front of him was standing still. He didn’t even have time to brake.

He did not have his seat belt on....

That could have been his head through the windshield, but luckily, it was his hand.

If he had been looking with his head down for a split second more, he could have a broken neck.

Luckily, nothing is broken.

Well, except the truck.

It's totalled.

 It's never good to see actual ground between the truck's bumper and the grill.

And little things dangling off

The truck was so badly damaged that the brakes quit working.

 After the initial impact, Trent kept pumping the brakes, but couldn't stop.

With the engine a mangled mess, he was barrelling down the road trying to get the truck stop and not hit anyone else.

The cops said he was a "good 1/4 mile down the road" before he finally came to a stop. He had to swerve toward the grassy median and start back up the hill before the truck lost momentum.

It was amazing that neither him nor the other car hit anyone else.

He knocked her car one way and he went the other direction.

Going back to look through the truck was awful!!

Trent couldn't get the door open.

 He was bleeding and confused and rattled.

He had to kick the door with both feet to get out.

The nice lady behind him watched what happened and followed Trent until his truck came to a stop. She helped him out and helped him call me.

Once the kids were dropped off and I got to the hospital, Trent was already getting x-rays. When they brought him back to the room, he looked terrible. Blood everywhere, coffee everywhere but the biggest smile on his face!!

Then they had to pick glass, piece by piece out of him for what seemed like FOREVER - not smiling so much through that!

All in all, the only injury was from him punching the windshield with his left hand. Besides that, sore muscles and a few small scrapes and bruises, he came out just fine. Thank you Lord!!

We can replace that silly ol truck.

But Trent is something very special.

You can't put a price on this beautiful Husband.

This beautiful Daddy.

This beautiful son and friend.

Trent, God gave us so much when he gave us you.

We Love You!!

Oh, and don't ever scare us like that again!!!

Love,

Your family

Don't Carpe Diem

I LOVE this article written by Glennon Melton found on The Huffington Post website. A friend posted it on Facebook and I think it is so true. Raising kids is hard work and too often we get stuck in the "chronos" time when we need to stop and really look around. We need to take time to hang out in the "kairos" time for a little bit each day and really see the beauty, feel the gratitude, enjoy the blessing.


Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."
Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here's what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.
Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.
Good enough for me.

Cool Yard Sale

We stopped at a yard sale and found something pretty cool....

Just the right size....

Just the right safety equipment...roll bars and seat belts!

Just the right place to store and ride it...

(Nannie and Papa's house because our yard has too many obstacles and fences!)

But WAY too fast for this Mommy!!

Away they go!! Just look at those faces :)

In Nannie and Papa's field, the boys can wind through all 3 gears and have even jumped a hill...yes they got airborn. We made them stop immediately and Wyatt said, "Are we in trouble? I didn't even make Will go that fast!" Another good safety feature is the gas pedal restricter...yes we will be using that!

Happy Easter

Easter morning we came home to find little Easter eggs all over the kitchen floor. The boys said "the Easter bunny must have pooped all those eggs out when he came." The egg trail led the boys to the kitchen table where they found their baskets full!

And Wyatt explained that it wasn't really Easter bunny poop because, "you know the Easter bunny actually poops out jelly beans."

They had time to look through all the goodies, eat a little candy, and play with new toys before getting ready for church.

It was a beautiful day to celebrate the death, burial and resurection of our savior!!

And after church, we headed off to Aunt Jane's for an egg hunt!

Cousin Landon was there, but Noah was sick :(

They hunted and hunted....

And searched and searched....

They found so many eggs!!

 In so many cool places!!

They all had a basket full of goody filled eggs!! Some eggs even had a special gold coin they could trade for a prize :) So much fun!!

Even Weston loved running around filling his basket!

Afterwards we headed in to make our own Easter eggs with a no stress, no mess egg coloring kit.....

After the grown up ladies - Me, Rachel, Mom and Memaw - attempted to get everything ready so the boys could come in dye the eggs and decorate with stickers - we realized this no mess, no fuss kit was a bit of false advertising. We almost burned down Aunt Jane's kitchen, nearly cracked all the eggs and had to stressfully figure out the best "process" to get the boys in and out without losing their interest. Whew....

The boys had fun anyway and enjoyed the looking at the silly faced eggs!

After all that fun, we headed down to Hendersonville to visit with Nana and Aunt Cindy's crew before heading back to Portland for church and then dinner with Daddy Jack's crew. 

Just another busy holiday in the Napier house! I love that we have so many places to go and so many people to visit. The boys get to see grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts/uncles, great-aunts and great-uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins and even 3rd cousins at nearly every holiday!! What a blessing to have such a big family so close physically as well as so close in our hearts and lives!!!

Happy Easter!!!!